The Junk Food of Writing

Monday, December 04, 2006

I don't know what "meme" means.

1. Popcorn or candy?
Popcorn. Despite the annoyance of post-consumption kernel remnants, popcorn is the ideal theater snack for a reason. It smells delicious, it's lightweight and I can easily cram it into my mouth without taking my eyes off the screen. It can, unfortunately, be a bit noisy, though. Candy is too sweet for me -- I need to be in a certain mood to enjoy it. Popcorn, on the other hand, always makes a perfect lunch for a matinee. Oh, and please keep that salty yellow chemical sludge away from my pure popcorn.

2. Name a movie you've been meaning to see forever.
L'Avenntura and the other 442 films on my Netflix queue. I have, however, been keeping L'Avenntura (and a few others) in the teens in hope that they may appear at a theater that often runs retrospectives before I see it on DVD.

3. You are given the power to recall one Oscar: Who loses theirs and to whom?
Hilary Swank, wave bye-bye to your undeserved second Oscar. I'll use my cloning machine to create a replica and award Imelda Stauton and Kate Winslet their own Oscar.

4. Steal one costume from a movie for your wardrobe. Which will it be?
A mullet wig from This is Spinal Tap.

5. Your favorite film franchise is...
I don't like this question. Do the films of Pixar (sans the numbingly awful Cars) count? Probably not. The Charlie Brown films. I love the dance song in the series: Do-du-la-doo-da-do-doo-doo-doo-la-doo-doo.

6. Invite five movie people over for dinner. Who are they? Why'd you invite them? What do you feed them?

Patricia Clarkson. Why? So I can serve her those adoption papers (it's legal to have two mothers, right?).

Anna Karina. Why? Primarily, to admire her beauty in the physical realm. Perhaps she will say something intelligent and insightful.

Max Minghella. Why?
Primarily, to admire his beauty in the physical realm. Perhaps he will say something intelligent and insightful.

Jean-Pierre Leaud. Why? He can give me all the dirt on the 60/70's French scene (a different perspective than Anna Karina, I'm sure). He's most likely provide a good amount of wit at the table, also.

Woody Allen. Why? Oh, no particular reason...

(and one more for good, even measure):

Miranda July. Why? Oh, I'm sure we'd complain about technology and this crazy postmodern world in a comical fashion -- we'll get along swimmingly.

Since I'm hardly a world class chef, I'd take them out to a restaurant for dinner (after a few coocktails at the house, of course). We'd go out for shabu-shabu, because it's rather interactive and delicious.

7. What is the appropriate punishment for people who answer cell phones in the movie theater?
I don't wish any more ill will on frequent cellphone users, but I do hope they enjoy the brain tumor they are rapidly developing.

8. Choose a female bodyguard: Ripley from Aliens. Mystique from X-Men. Sarah Connor from Terminator 2. The Bride from Kill Bill. Mace from Strange Days.
I don't like these choices. I'm going with Kat Stratford from 10 Things I Hate About You. Her verbal assaults are much more cutting than The Bride's knife (I realize this isn't exactly true, but I'd love it to be).

9. What's the scariest thing you've ever seen in a movie?
Laura Dern's gaping mouth in Blue Velvet. I would post a picture if I had one, or if I hated you.

10. Your favorite genre (excluding comedy and drama) is:

The metafilm (, All That Jazz, Sherman's March, Adaptation).

11. You are given the power to greenlight movies at a major studio for one year. How do you wield this power?
I'd resign.

12. Bonnie or Clyde?
The one that dies at the end.

13. Who are you tagging to answer this survey?
I would never be so mean.

8 Comments:

  • Oh man, I didn't realize question 8 had options you had to choose from! I must have deleted them in Word thinking they were Ali's answers. Oh well.

    I hate the "chemical sludge" on popcorn as well. I like my popcorn dry and crisp!

    Good answers for #7 and #11!

    By Anonymous Kathleen, at 8:47 PM  

  • #9 made me laugh.

    By Blogger Emma, at 5:59 PM  

  • God I love spam (not). It's so subtle.

    As always, you're hilarious/insightful. Can't get enough of you.

    By Blogger JavierAG, at 9:05 PM  

  • If you ever have dinner with Max Minghella, I expect you to make him feel embarrassed about his father's terrible directing.

    By Anonymous meryl., at 8:05 PM  

  • Anthony Minghella a "terrible director"?

    *sputters, chokes*

    By Blogger Ali, at 3:01 AM  

  • meme (mēm) n. - A unit of cultural information, such as a cultural practice or idea, that is transmitted verbally or by repeated action from one mind to another.

    Please stop making me post comments on material that is over a month old.

    By Blogger Ali, at 2:10 AM  

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