To those who have the power, please rename this:

Please excuse the obligatory -- but, in the case, grotesque -- imagery. If you must, simple overlook it and misinterpret ever word which follows.

If you are an unfortunate individual, like myself, and occasionally wake up with a bit of gooey -- yet slightly hard -- bit of disgustingness in the corner of your eyes (as pictured above), then you will know how repulsive it is to scrape it out with your index finger. More vulgar than its color, squishiness and presence is its appelation. Unfortunately, there is no official name for it, so many use the crude slang words "eye boogers" to describe it. The other commonly used name is "crust," which is equally crass. Therefore, I beg anyone who has the influence to completely change the American vernacular to please give it a proper, and less tasteless term. So, please view this as a petition of some sort. Also, if any wonderful reader could tell me the scientific name (if one exists), I would be delighted.

Since classes/essays/exams ended this past Tuesday, and grades have been submitted and released, I have absolutely no responsibilites. Normally, I would be looking (or forced to look) for a job at this moment, but I decided to stay in Boston for another two weeks before heading back home to the exotic land known as New Jersey (I have decided to be a waiter this summer and find an internship when I return from Europe next summer). This has left me with an absurdly large amount of time to live a structureless life and do whatever pleases me. This, of course, is very, very dangerous. Simply put, I am confused by such freedom. Without a schedule, rigid or loose, I fear I may be leading a vacuous existence. Therefore, I try to kept myself occupied. In some cases, 'occupied' means spending time writing an entry about eye boogers.

Below, in bullets, are events I have partaken in within the past five days, due to my excessive, yet oddly welcome, amount of free time:

• Had a picnic on the Boston Common with friends, where we played Wiffleball, ate hummus and fried dough, drank strawberry lemonade, and mocked tourists.
  
• Ate 19 cheap Fla.Vor.Ice ice pops (and I am currently gnawing on an ice pop of the grape/purple variation -- yes, I am quite the multi-tasker).
  
• Read my favorite playwright's (Edward Albee) adaptation of my favorite novel (Nabakov's Lolita).
• Watched 6 films.
• Finished a bottle of red wine by myself (in the company of others, of course -- I haven't gone that far off the deep end).
• Wore my cheap black-and-white checkered sandals and walked in them for more than 100 feet -- and survived.
  
• Misread 'sexiest' as 'sexist'...twice.
• Listened to Modern English's new-wave "I Melt With You," which transcends 80's cheese, 16 times (its play-count on my iTunes is currently 137).
• Witnessed a colorful sunset from the roof of my apartment building.
  
• Went to Scientology service and stayed in the Scientology center (which looked uncannily similar to 111 Archer Ave. from The Royal Tenenbaums) for an extra three hours, where my friends and I watched two orientation videos, took a stress test, and filled out a personality survey (which told me I am a terrible human being and should seek improvement through the answers which Scientology will provide for me -- none of which they even slightly disclosed).
• Walked at least 10 miles without the intention of walking a long distance.
• Woke up without eye boogers/eye crust/[less uncouth name to be determined].
  

I am so accomplished.