The Junk Food of Writing

Saturday, December 24, 2005

A Holiday Rumination

When I was in 2nd grade, just before the eventful First Communion, my teacher asked my class why it is essential to receive the holy communion. I raised my hand and answered, "Well, sometimes I get hungry during mass and it holds me over until I go out to breakfast after church." True story -- and one of my favorites (partially because I was dead serious). Needless to say, Mrs. Wetzel wasn't very content with my answer. When I was younger I also thought that, instead of Doritos (or some other generic chip), priests casually ate the communion wafer (more commonly known as the 'host') as a snack. You know -- just sitting on the couch, watching some Full House, and munching on a bag of host. Yum.

Recently, someone pondered how people on the Atkins diet feel about communion. Is Jesus low carb? I find this to be a fascinating question. I will have to ask next time I am forced to go to mass with my parents (most likely tonight, Christmas Eve -- there's absolutely NO WAY I can get out of that). When I approach the golden chalice, I'll pause and ask if I can see the nutrition facts printed on the side of the box where the chunk of Jesus came from.

Oh religion, what a silly thing. According to an online survey, I am a humanist. Wait, why am I talking about religion around the holidays? It's not like religion is pertinent, or anything.

Merry Christmas.


  • Jesus is not only "Low Carb", but he's low in sodium and cholesteral.

    By Blogger Malloree, at 1:26 AM  

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